pieces of me

Being a stay-at-home mama to child that can't talk real words is somewhat lonely.  I am finding myself craving two way conversation and getting down about not doing much other than rolling around on the floor, singing songs and making silly faces. 

Before I became a mama I worked in a busy coffee stand where I would talk with over 200 customers in a short 5 hour block.  I remember looking forward to getting off work so I could have a break from talking.  Now I am finding my life is the complete opposite, I stay at home with my little one having no adult conversation counting down the minutes until my husband gets home so I can have some two way conversation!  Whats silly is I know so many stay at home mamas in my town but I never actually call any of them to hang out.  "I just don't want to bug them," is what I tell myself.  

Being a mom is challenging

 This morning Ruby was so fussy and nothing would console her.  It was without a doubt my first challenging mom moment.  

Its nice out again so I decided we would go for a walk after she nursed at 11:00.  She nursed and fell asleep, like most days, so I put her down and went out to start my car.  I came back in and brought sleeping Ruby into her room, changed her diaper and put a sweater on her.  She woke up while I was changing her and started crying.  I picked her up and tried to rock her, nurse her again, give her her soothie, walked around the house with her, laid on my bed with her.  I tried a combination of these and a few more for the next hour and twenty minutes.  She cried intensely for the entire time not once calming down.  I couldn't believe that she was so upset for so long.  I may have even cried myself during this whole ordeal.  The one thing that finally got her to calm down was putting her in her Moby wrap.  So since I had her in that we went for a walk down the street to a near by pond.  She did alright until she got a big gust of freezing wind in her face.  Then she started crying and cried the rest of the way home.  Deep breath.

Right now she is sound asleep in the Moby wrap.

In other news Ruby had her one month check up today at the pediatrician.  She weights 9lbs.11oz and is now 22.5 inches long.  The pediatrician said she was 75th percentile for weight and 95th or more for height, in other words she is proportionate.